Early 2016 after I had just taken my first jamb and concluded Waec, the hopes of gaining admission seemed very faint. It was hard for me to take in such reality, seeing that I worked really hard memorizing those books like they were my family history and very important to my identity. I cried day in day out cause I felt I didn’t know how to face people, not that I was a failure or that I didn’t make good grades, but the thought of how faintly possible my admission into law would be like was a thought scary enough to drive me crazy into quick depression.
At that point in my life, that was my biggest problem. There was no light, no future, no image, no hope, just a vessel of shattered dreams. Did I later get admission, YES. Was it the course of my dream, NO. Did I cry, over and over, YES, but as time went by, I began to realise that what I so much hoped for wasn’t what I actually wanted. The story ends well because I got into school the same time my mates did, no gap year, nothing, just a regular 300level student, doing something I actually enjoy and fits well into my creative routine and lifestyle. So I can say truly “This too will pass” is a possible statement.
Looking at our current situation, most times it’s very difficult to see past our fears, broken dreams or pains, be it loosing a loved one, failing an exam, loosing our jobs, being cheated or facing a harsh breakup that leads to mental breakdown, all situations confront us like a full stop in our lives. The weight of the terror is reason enough to sink deep into depression, but I want to let you know that even though it may not seem like it, but that which gives us so much pain, sleepless night and frustrating thoughts will also pass and most times with a miracle in our favour.
I’ve come to understand that there is nothing more scary than depression and once you drive into that point in your life, it takes really deep work to come out. I might not have reached the complete and agonizing stage of depression but the level of frustration and confusion I’ve reached is enough to let me know it’s a place too dark for even the white lights. So I believe rather than getting worked up over man made problems, let’s always have a positive outlook on life that no matter what we are facing at the moment, sooner or later it will become history and a testimony of a healed pain. Life is too short to spend it agonising over things we can’t change, so it’s best we live it accepting the process won’t always be the way we think it should be, but the way it will be which we can trust.
There is nothing that we face that is too heavy for us, for Christians believe God cannot test you more that he knows you can handle, because His strength is made perfect in our weakness. So on that note, I say, trust the process, be positive, for if we throw negativity to the universe it will birth depression in our souls. Try as much to always be happy, it’s the least we owe our selves
Bye Stellar 🌸